2.15.2006

Standing Alone

standing alone
on a wind swept plain
standing alone
i was swept away
carried afar
vast miles were crossed
beamed like a star
through a universe lost
standing alone
i seldom complain
standing alone
disregarding inane
once was lost
still not found
awakened at the cost
of that goddamned sound
is it the willows
just blowing around
or is it some pillows
just fluffy, soft down
it can’t be some pillows
pulling me down!
standing aside
i pull back black shades
standing alone
my will power fades
turn the sky black
let the night in
it’s on the attack
you’ll pay for that sin
look at the facts!
still won’t let me in
stare at the stats!
pain sears, deep within
standing alone
on a dark front step
standing alone
on the threshold of death
do i leap away here?
is it what’s best
better move clear
i’ll tell you the rest
standing alone
innocence lost
standing alone
at such a terrible cost
standing aside
i let them crawl in
i let the beginning, of the end begin
standing alone
nothing is left
i think i’ll lay awile
and dream up the rest.

2.09.2006

Suburban Machinery

i feel it slipping away
try to hold on
not up to it today
lost in the dark, empty arms of the sky
festering, crushed and degraded by the lie
still here i am
alone
cold
drowning in the ashes of what we had
nothing left to fear
blurred faces pass me by
solemn, alone, no tears left to cry
you pulled back the shade
revealing the creature,
the darkness you’ve made
lost in the night, by agony i am bound
itching, scraping away at that persistent sound
still i am here
deceit
pain
standing in the flesh you grated away
nothing left in here
nothing left to fear
blurred faces pass me by
solemn, alone, no tears left to cry

2.07.2006

The Fog

I saw it in a dream.
Just for a moment though.
It was gone into the excited atmosphere.
Standing here, alone, in the dark, I can strangely see better.
The murkiness settled and then dissipated, but ever so slowly.
Now it is clear.
Could not hold on.
Lost my grip.
It’s better that way.
It wasn’t anything real anyhow.
It “takes two to tango.”
Although one makes for good company, if you’re crazy.
You Bet.
Like a loon.
All weirded out.
All drugged out, all drugged up.
Tap a vein, drop a tab, take a hit, you need a bump?
Always, pass it this way.
In a way, it’s always murky in here.
It passed in a dream and I realized it never was, will or could be.
It doesn’t exist now, I know it.
I should leave now.

2.06.2006

Forgotten Lore

to the heights above the floor

a forgotten moment
some forgotten lore
you could not hold it
forever no more
holding the thoughts
forgotten amor
this time
in search of so much more
this time
it has nothing to do with “dearest Lenore”
this time
in search of
so much more
slowly, so softly
drift away
drift ashore
somewhere else
it will be found
what you’re looking for
something else
forever no more
holding the thoughts
of some forgotten lore
ascend to the heights
above the floor.

2.05.2006

The Static

huh?
what’s that you said?
i don’t think i quite heard you.
i don’t think i quite heard you.
ohhh . . . i see.
you weren’t lying.
if i had anything left that would make me laugh.
A lie about lies, that’s funny.
i loved you, you probably knew that too.
did you care?
that’s almost rhetorical.
it hurts inside all of the time now.
i keep wanting to make it go away.
i just don’t know how . . .
even if i did, i’m not sure i would . .
through the static, over the roar, i think i can still hear an echo of something that was good.
just out of reach, on the top shelf.
maybe, if i can get to it i could . . .
No, probably not.
Annihilation, destruction, the end.
it all falls apart now.
the gleaming city in the desert collapses.
all things must come to an end.
huh?
i don’t think i quite heard you.
what’s that you said?
i don’t think i quite heard you.

2.04.2006

The Impact of an Individual

wind rushing by
only the cool breeze
and the vastness of the sky
finally, a release
open your eyes
at last, at peace
peer above
peer below
you’ll let them all know
you mournful lament
letting it all go
fuck that shit
took it all through
every last bit
one last look
up at the sky
through your darkened eyes
the pavement approaches
the last thing you see
a gray-haired old lady
walking along beneath

Colorless Rainbow

Life is black
Unshaded and dark
Stuck on the edge
Of this colorless rainbow
Fall from the ledge
Dare me to let go?
Of this dark and dreary
Colorless rainbow
Nothing seems right
Nothing seems true
Dropped out of sight
My sanity flew
While I was sitting here waiting
With nothing to do
I’ll just sit here waiting
On this colorless rainbow
Can’t fell my hands!
Can’t feel my legs!
Strike up the bands!
Drive in the pegs!
Hurry, move quickly!
Here it comes now
A lost, tarnished soul
Riding forever
On a colorless rainbow

Untitled

solely intended for your eyes only
state secrets
dark corridors of dark faces without names
only ID badges
with the proper clearance
wars waged
battles lost
lifetimes wasted
a thousand men in a thousand suits
racing

Golf, Tango, Golf

Slash, parry, thrust
They rattle through the brain in the hole
Earth surrounds
Dug deep underground.
Lock and Load!
It permeates the air, echoes through the forest.
Fighting positions.
Peer over, cautiously, carefully.
Pitch black, no vision.
Is the magazine seated?
Was that movement?
The rhythmic popping, all around.
Flares.
Fuck!!
Where’s the 60? Get the sixty!
Incoming!
Out of the hole!
Fast!
Fix bayonets!
It permeates the air, echoes through the forest.
Here we go!
The last sound in the air.
The last one letting go.
The screams of the wounded shred through woods.It permeates the air, echoes through the forest

Part of the Decay

can’t let it go now
and here it is
coursing throughout
like so many old stains
dotting the floor
on the second level
that old door frame
you remember that building?
that infernal eyesore
that’s what it’s like in here
decay and abandonment
are you tired yet?
i get weary in the dark
bitterness and regret
make most of the noise
creeping in the shadow, i guess
it let’s me know
exactly what the night is
and i want it to go away
like a full-blown case of West Nile encephalitis
the regret and pain
but i’m bound up, inside this
i’ll just lay wide awake
and drown in the rain.

The Beginning

Words of sorrow. Regret. Joyless moments. Filling these pages. Forever. Today a broken down being begins a journey into the heart of darkness.